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Joke of the Day

"I make the McDonald's guy eat a McDouble with me like when people buy shots for the bartender"

"My ex-girlfriend was an astronaut. So I guess you could say that, I've had a spacex."

"Long John Silver's is the perfect representation of corporate greed. Nearly everything that company does is selfish."

"I used to think love() was abstract, until you implemented it in MyHeart."

"Manager: I thought I told you to lose weight. What happened to your three week diet? Player: I finished it in three days!"

"My friend has really clean shoes, What's his secret? He's in a wheelchair"

"Where did the hamburger go to dance? The Meatball"

"Sarah Palin's political integrity. Because she's ~~a woman~~ an idiot."

"Shoepidity... wearing ridiculously uncomfortable shoes just because they look good."

"Why don't they have a Phone Directory in China? Because there are so many ""Wings"" and ""Wongs"" they'd still wing the wong number."