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Joke of the Day

"Kids having the best time ever sound exactly the same as kids being axe-murdered."

"What do you call it when an underwater explorer gets bitten by a bloodsucking parasite? Diverticulitis."

"What do you call a love story between resistance and energy? Omhmeo and Jouleiet"

"What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One doesn't scream when you put it in an oven"

"What do you call an eerie French pastry chef? A crepe."

"Am sitting in horrible traffic, but fortunately someone is beeping their horn so we should be on the move soon."

"Why did gays started to join NSA? They thought it stood for 'no straight allowed'."

"Why do they call a horse a horse? Because they speak English."

"*wife stares at me* *I stare at her* *she frowns* *I smile* ""You didn't notice my new-"" ""NICE HAIRCUT AND GLASSES."" ""Dress."""

"Behavioral Health What do you call an epileptic with a personality disorder? A myclonic jerk."