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Joke of the Day

"My dreams are like dinosaurs.... All big and dead."

"Pilot episode You know how you can tell if a shows going to be any good based on the pilot, since it sets the tempo for the entire show? I just realized that my dad didn't like the pilot of my life..."

"Women always say they want security... When I'm around."

"Why do black people where baggy pants? 'Cause they're knee grows!"

"Cross a mobster in the streets. Horse's head in the sheets."

"Do vegetarian cops... ....go on stakeouts?"

"Why do all polish names end in SKI ? They can't spell TOBOGGAN !"

"How does Popeye lube up his dick? Sticks it in Olive Oyl."

"What did the pirate say when he turned 80 years old? Aye matey!"

"What's the difference between a dirty bus stop & a lobster with breast implants.. One's a crusty bus station and the other's a busty crustacean."