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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a dirty bus stop & a lobster with breast implants.. One's a crusty bus station and the other's a busty crustacean."

"I hate it... I hate it when people say something online and don't take credit for it. Pussies. Anonymous"

"1) Throw a ball of yarn into a fencing battle 2) Wait until the fight is over 3) Retrieve your fully-knitted sweater"

"Bridge is like sex If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."

"You know when you read a page of a book and then realize you didn't absorb any of it? I think I did that with my life."

"I think that time will eventually show that Vanilli was by far the more talented of the two."

"There is only 2 things you need to know to succeed in life 1. Never help anyone succeed. 2."

"A mobster killed an Irishman with a porcelain doll He was accused of knick-knack paddy whack"

"My girlfriend and I went to the bank and opened a shared savings account, mostly for buying weed. ... ... It will be our joint account."

"Menstruation is NOT a laughing matter. Period."