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Joke of the Day
"Do vegetarian cops... ....go on stakeouts?"
Next Joke
"""Can I go outside and watch the solar eclipse?"" asked Rupert. ""Okay"" replied his father ""but don't stand too close."""
"""Mom, i'm in the hospital."" ""Jeremy, you have been a doctor for 8 years now please stop starting every phone conversation with that."""
"A double foot amputee hobbles into a yogurt factory and is immediately escorted out... They were lack toes intolerant."
"After a big tsunami in Japan, the Chinese began to hoard soy sauce. So I guess you shouldn't Kikkoman when he's down."
"What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dead hooker? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage"
"What do a gas pump nozzle and a penis have in common? No matter how much you shake them, they still leak a little bit when you try and put them away."
"It's strange when I see a deer out in nature because I always assumed their natural habitat was right in front of my car on the highway."
"I can only handle girls that are a 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 8, or 10 on the hotness scale. Cause 7 ate 9 so they're probably not interested in me."
"Dr: do you know why you gained weight? *Flashbacks to eating fries in the car sobbing and blasting Adele* Me: no, better run some tests"