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Joke of the Day

"UKIP joke A man walked into a Pakistani book shop and asked the owner if they had UKIP's new book. The shop owner said ""Fuck off, get out and stay out."" So the man replied, yep that's the one."

"My sex life That is all"

"Say what you like about Donald Trump.. But he's doing more than anyone else in the world to stop Donald Trump from being elected president."

"Whats the difference between a tractor and a giraffe? (first ever post in a year on reddit!) One has hydraulics and the other high bollocks! Brilliantly told by my Irish cousin."

"This may be a bit messed up. If you eat one thing a lot, people tend to joke that you'll ""become it"". I used to eat vegetables. Guess what I became."

"I got into a fight with my erection this morning. I beat it single handedly."

"My version of ""naked and afraid"" is when I'm in the shower, soap in my eyes, and I hear a weird noise."

"They hired a comedian for the local construction site. Everybody loves him. You could say he's really nailing it."

"Spilling a beer... ...is the adult equivalent to losing a balloon."

"What's the difference between Trump and a Tree? Only one can get stumped..."