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Joke of the Day

"My first time... My first time having sex and playing football were a lot alike... When it was all said and done I was exhausted bruised and bloody... But atleast my dad came..."

"I just ate some pasta... ...and it was worth every Penne. ^(My god, that must be the worst joke I've ever written.)"

"Q. Why did Mrs. Smokey the Bear divorce Smokey the Bear? A. Because every time she got hot he'd beat her with a shovel!"

"Dumb joke I thought of while bored at work. Why is working at Amazon warehouse like being a coke addict? You spend 10 hours a day doing nothing but clearing lines."

"If Sesame Street really cared about children they'd realize Big Bird could feed a hungry family for a month."

"Have you heard how busy the Samsung customer care lines are? Their phones are blowin' up!"

"What kind of watch is best for people who don't like time on their hands? A pocket watch."

"What company makes Nerds? Your mom."

"What do you call it when a jewish submarine operator is discriminated against for being gay? Subjugation."

"What did the Irishman say about the RC car tied to his scrotum? It drives me nuts."