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Joke of the Day
"What did the Irishman say about the RC car tied to his scrotum? It drives me nuts."
Next Joke
"Did you know that if you stab a salad 23 times, It becomes a Caesar Salad"
"For maximum attention, nothing beats a good mistake."
"Did you know Lysol kills 99.9% of germs & my toothpaste has tartar control? You would too if you sat in my bathroom without your phone."
"Why can't a bicycle stand on it's own? **Because it's two tired.**"
"""OK...that Trust Exercise didn't go exactly according to plan. Once we dispose of the bodies let's keep quiet about this...AS A TEAM!"""
"Be nice to a nerd. Prevent a supervillain."
"I met a famous American comedian on a White House tour I walked up to him, tapped him on the shoulder and said, ""Hey, I thought you retired in 2009?"""
"Why are you walking like that? ""Number one, I crashed my bike yesterday morning, and number two "" edit: grammar fix"
"PATIENT: How tough was medical school for a dog like you? DR DOG: *thinking back on all the homework he ate* It wasn't easy"