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Joke of the Day

"A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, ""GET OUT OF MY BAR, YOU FUCKING HORSE!"""

"I was making a graph of my past relationships. First I drew the Ex axis then the Why axis. Full disclosure: I saw this in yik yak thought is share it here. :)"

"I'm raising my child to believe there were only 3 'Star Wars' movies."

"What did Miss Piggy's boyfriend do after he found out she was unfaithful? Kermit suicide."

"Her: Are you even listening to me or are you just tweeting? Me: Yes sweetie, I hate her too."

"Un Deux Trois A French cat called Un Deux Trois attempted to swim the English Channel last weekend but sadly didn't make it and drowned. It was all over the news the next day; ""Un Duex Trois Cat Sank"""

"*Cookie Monster finishes cookie, looks into camera* ME WANT TO TALK ABOUT ISRAEL"

"Where can I fit 40 jews in my car The ashtray."

"What do you call a heard of sperm whales? Bukkake."

"I don't understand why it's called a Chastity Belt. Everyone I know named Chastity is a stripper."