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Joke of the Day

"Her: Are you even listening to me or are you just tweeting? Me: Yes sweetie, I hate her too."

"A Russian walks into an alchohal rehab facility... Wait...what?"

"What did the miner say when he struck gold? Au, yeah!"

"Now that China has blocked Wikipedia, they're considering replacing it with... ... Xikipedia!"

"What do you give to an owl who is not being himself? A Bowl (B-Owl)"

"What do Ebola patients eat? Abola chicken noodle soup!"

"What's the difference between a feminist and a gun? The gun only has one trigger! -Clorox Bleach"

"If you didn't want me looking in your bedroom than you never should have put your window at the same height as my ladder."

"I am extremely offended by the song ""God is Dead"" by Black Sabbath. How can Ozzy Osbourne possibly sing that? ...when Tony Iommi is standing right next to him, alive and well."

"Two fish are in a tank... Two fish are in a tank when one turns to the other and says, ""do you know how to drive this thing?"