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Joke of the Day

"Un Deux Trois A French cat called Un Deux Trois attempted to swim the English Channel last weekend but sadly didn't make it and drowned. It was all over the news the next day; ""Un Duex Trois Cat Sank"""

"Chuck Norris was banned from competing in the National Karate Championship. Everyone he competed with the year before ended up in the Special Olympics."

"Store Sign: ""WE HAVE MACE"" Think that's going to keep me from shopping here?"

"A very, very old one. A man is standing in an elevator, when a woman walks in. The woman asks ""Can I smell your balls?"" ""No you cannot smell my balls."" ""It must be your feet then."""

"My father used to put snowballs in the blender and make great slushies Snowballs was a great cat"

"If your dad wrote the Bible, who would he have building the ark? Not sure who he would have, but I Noah guy."

"What do you find in a pumpkins pants? A Halloweenie!"

"So a Trabi owner pulls up to a gas station... ...and says to the attendant: ""Two windscreen wipers for my Trabi please."" The attendant replies: ""That sounds like a good deal!"""

"My rap name is Weapons of Mass Destruction because you go in thinking I'm going to destroy you but it turns out I've got absolutely nothing."

"What do you call an old man whose retarded? Bernie Sanders!!"