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Joke of the Day
"I like my women like I like my champagne 13 years old and smashed over the bow of my yacht"
Next Joke
"If a tree falls in the woods and there is no one to hear it, he still tries to play it off like he meant it so the other trees don't laugh."
"You think if I tell my dad ""30 is the new 20"" he'll start paying all my bills for me again like he did 10 years ago?"
"Why does Santa have a big sack? He only comes once a year. Why does he only come once a year? He only goes to see children once a year."
"A goldfish is a great pet if you're wanting to be forced to explain death to your toddler sometime within the next 48 hours."
"What did the apple say to the apple pie? ""You've got some crust."""
"Why doesn't Smokey the Bear have any kids? Because every time his wife gets hot, he covers her with dirt and beats her with a shovel."
"Me: ""Dad, I wanna to go to a 50 cent concert!"" Dad: ""Well here's a dollar, take your sister too."""
"My cell-mate had nick name for me... Mitochondria."
"Cheesy pun I once had a dream about cheese. It was all gouda until a muenster appeared and started chasing me"