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Joke of the Day

"Me: ""Dad, I wanna to go to a 50 cent concert!"" Dad: ""Well here's a dollar, take your sister too."""

"Ladies, please keep it down a bit, a large group of white men are in Washington trying to sort out your birth control."

"These bar stools are creaky!! [continues to fart on first date]"

"I tried growing some thin fruit last month But there's been slim pickings."

"One mans trash... ""One man's rubbish is another man's treasure"" is a fantastic Idiom. But it's a horrible way to tell your kid that he's adopted."

"Somewhere in an alternative universe a girl is kissing a frog hoping it turns back into her charming prince but instead it only turns into the artist formerly known as prince"

"What goes in long and hard and comes out soft and wet? A Stick of Gum..."

"Missed connection: I was a 15 year old boy, you were 1984 Madonna."

"Q: Why did the T-Rex eat hamburgers? A: Because he is a meat eater!"

"April showers bring may flowers What do may flowers bring? Pilgrims. What do Pilgrims bring? Smallpox"