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Joke of the Day

"Why don't girls go to.... Why don't girls go to the bathroom after having sex? Have you ever tried opening a grilled cheese sandwich?!"

"Why did they call the masseuse sexist? He was massage-anistic.."

"""Mommy when I grow up, I want to be a shoe"" -straight up killin' it at this parenting thing"

"I organized a threesome last night There were a couple of no-shows but I still had a good time."

"There better be a martial arts tournament in Australia called Mortal Wombat"

"This guy named Bill keeps sending me letters Says I owe him money or something"

"San Diego Comic Con and Dragoncon are going to pull their resources and merge into one event. But it was called off because no one was happy with the con fusion."

"TIFU by Posting in the Wrong Subreddit Twice"

"Her: I do. And that marks the last time she ever agreed with me."

"Interesting Factoid: Facebook causes you to overestimate how happy your friends are, and therefore might make you more depressed!"