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Joke of the Day

"Someone threw a grill at my face. The attack made headlines."

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"How many egoists does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They simply hold the bulb and wait for the world to revolve around them."
"If you're the best at bodybuilding, all you've really accomplished is grossing the rest of us out."
"What do you call ill-mannered burst of strong wind in the desert? Darude Sandstorm."
"(Xpost Antijokes) Check yourself before you wreck yourself... ...with dick cancer. Happy Movember. http://us.movember.com/mens-health/"
"I'm not going to make my daughter choose a religion, I'll explain the differences & when the time comes she can choose either Marvel or DC."
"I just got a new job at a prison library. It has its prose and cons."
"Turkeys are crazy. They hunch down and freeze in groups in grocery store coolers to elude hunters. Must be a safety in numbers thing."
"Q: What do small businesses cry when account executives harass them for money? A: Yelp!"
"Teen: Your outfit is on fleek! Me: (confused) Yeah well your MOM is on fleek. Teen: (smiles) Thank you! Me: God damn it."