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Joke of the Day

"(Xpost Antijokes) Check yourself before you wreck yourself... ...with dick cancer. Happy Movember. http://us.movember.com/mens-health/"

"Her: I'm running a little late. M: how many more seconds er I mean yeah sure take your time. Me, trying to play it cool with the babysitter"

"I like my coffee like I like my women.... .....black and with a dick in it."

"I'd like to hear Tony the Tiger's opinion on other products before he tells me how great his cereal is."

"Where's the best place to hide after a murder? Behind a badge"

"Enable location? Seriously, Twitter? Have you met some of these folks?"

"""I'm a skeleton!"" *kisses and hugs you* Stop that! *kisses and hugs you again* What kind of skeleton are you?!? ""An XO skeleton"""

"My mum needs to stop using all the blenders for stew.. It's pissing me off having spicy Oreo milkshake"

"A woman is watching the food channel... Her husband says: why are you watching this? You can't even cook! She replies: you watch porn all day long and I dont even say anything!"

"How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb? It's a really obscure number, you wouldn't have heard of it"