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Joke of the Day

"Doritos has a new snack called ""Taco Explosion"" so I'm suing Frito Lay for stealing my term for what occurs an hour after eating Taco Bell."

"Q: what did one ass cheek say to the other? A: together we can stop this shit"

"Me: I was so happy before I lost my forearms in that shark attack Therapist: How do you feel now? Me: With my elbows"

"I shaved all the hair of my girlfriend's cat. Hopefully she takes the hint."

"What's the difference in a dirty bus station and a lobster with breast implants? You should know, you've only read it twenty times."

"I tried to take a photo of a huge bug in my bathroom, but when I put a coin next to it for scale IT TOOK THE COIN AND PUT IT IN ITS WALLET."

"What did Asian Jesus say before he was crucified? (OC) YORO (You only resurrect once)"

"Hey, baby, are you a school? Because I want to shoot kids inside you."

"My body is a temple. I care about it three to five times a year purely out of guilt."

"When life gives you lemons Drink the kool-aide"