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Joke of the Day

"You can lead a horse to water but it's pretty crowded there because of all the men you taught to fish in that other proverb."

"Everyone keeps downvoting my racist jokes. It's like a load of black people have suddenly gotten laptops or something."

"I'm like Helen of Troy. Not in the sense of being breathtakingly beautiful, but in the sense of pissing people off and starting wars"

"Me: Babe will you love me when I'm old & fat. Wife: I sure do."

"If I got $1 for every time people called me a racist Black people would rob me."

"[1st time buying drugs] Me: can I get a *reads smudged notes on hand* married iguana Guy: *opens coat to reveal married iguanas* Me: hell ya"

"How many Mexicans does it take to build a... Never mind, they're already done, and they paid for it too."

"COOKING TIP: Quickly slice a block of cheese by throwing it through a harp."

"Whenever I try to make a pun-joke, nobody seems to get it.. I guess I'm bad at delivering the PUNchline.."

"A musician, a lumberjack, and a mathematician were in a room together... They made a log-rhythm."