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Joke of the Day

"The #NSA walks into a bar. Bartender: ""Got a new joke for you."" NSA: ""Heard it."""

"Follow your dreams, into traffic."

"Horses are very contrarian... No matter what you ask them, all they say is ""neigh."""

"What are ducks' favorite drug? Quack."

"Feminism! Q: How many feminists does it take to change a baby's diaper? A: Don't be silly, feminists can't change anything. And besides, where would they find a baby!"

"Drunk Draft Folder Contents: ""Trees. LOL."" ""I was born once. Pickles."" ""Spice Girls"" ""Toes. Are on my feet. Both feet. Not just one."""

"If my life had a soundtrack it would be the sound of a rusty gate slowly closing and then falling off its hinges onto a bunch of ugly cats..."

"""Parodies"" or homages or whatever the fuck they are of the ""Got milk?"" ads are worse than AIDS + 9/11 + a 3rd thing you personally hate."

"What does a toddler get drunk off of? Jack Danimals!"

"whats the best way to go cliff diving? without the body of water"