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Joke of the Day

"I am so drunk, i'm going to regreddit tomorrow! regReddit GET IT? wow, this is as dry as california."

"If I wanted a president, who had never touched a vagina... ...I would've voted Jeb!"

"Today, I'm going to give it my some."

"If Pitbull wasn't famous he'd easily be the creepiest guy in every club he visits."

"I don't speak button, but if I could I'm pretty sure the button on my jeans is saying, ""Aaaaah! Help me!"" right now."

"Hey Baby are you Rockefeller? Because I think we should Horizontally Integrate."

"Why is my dog better than my girlfriend? I can throw her food on the floor, call her a bitch and she'll still play with my balls."

"This Halloween, make your friends run in terror by walking into their parties as ""guy with acoustic guitar""."

"I burnt my Hawaiian pizza last night. I should have used aloha setting."

"Why not use a see-through, clear plastic hang glider just to freak everyone out?"