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Joke of the Day

"Why not use a see-through, clear plastic hang glider just to freak everyone out?"

"Heads up guys, if you ask your wife how to spell menage a trois she's gonna want to know why."

"How do you make a prepubescent laugh? Heh, pubes."

"Don't blindfold an Asian with a shoe lace. That's lacist."

"Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac? He stayed up all night wondering if there really was a dog."

"ATTORNEY: my client would like to confess ME: i sell human organs on the black market JUDGE [who needs a kidney transplant]: tell me more"

"I am rarely judgmental, but I do scowl, and shake my head slowly in disapproval whenever I see a vegan biting its nails."

"What do an eagle and a mole have in common? They both live underground, **except for the eagle.**"

"My new year's resolution is 640 x 480 This NYE I'm going out and getting fucking pixelated."

"My guidelines for whether or not to have sex with a female were the same as how I chose outdoor sports. If there was grass on the field, I played ball."