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Joke of the Day

"This Halloween, make your friends run in terror by walking into their parties as ""guy with acoustic guitar""."

"What does the Russian President's wife scream during foreplay? Putin! Putin!"

"If Microsoft ever makes a product that doesn't suck... it will be a vacuum cleaner."

"[1620] We Indians will bury the hatchet and teach you to farm. *Pilgrims huddle* It's a ruse, this soil looks awful for growing hatchets."

"What presidential candidate currently has a beard? Hillary Clinton."

"A friend of mine has just moved into his new house. I got him a radiator as a house warming present."

"How do you disappoint a redditor?"

"How do you turn a duck in to a soul singer? Put in the oven till it's Bill Withers."

"What's the difference between a cow, and 9/11? You can't milk a cow for 14 years."

"My inability to pronounce Spanish names makes me sad, and I'm not even Jaoquin."