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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Gene Simmons and Richard Simmons? One porks women the other un-porks them."

"I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with ""Guess"" on it ...so I said ""Implants?"""

"""Hello! Thanks for calling the urology department."" Please hold"

"If the USSR were to become a country again... ...would it be called the Soviet Reunion?"

"How do you call a Russian tree? Dimitree"

"Best book quotes out of context Touching the void: 'Fuck me, it's enormous!'"

"Me? Need a Bag? Nah chill son, Ima juggle this 6 pack of beer and watermelon on my head while riding a scooter."

"ME: ppl call dogs ""doggo"" now. i guess its a meme, i dont get it THERAPIST: this is $200/hr. do you want to talk about anything else? ME: no"

"[pun] I wanted to be a personal trainer... But I was too scrawny and had to hand in my too weak notice. (Credits to Adrian, badass Chef)"

"Jokes you used to tell as a kid Knock knock Who's there? Interrupting cow Interrupting c- MOOOOOOO"