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Joke of the Day

"ME: ppl call dogs ""doggo"" now. i guess its a meme, i dont get it THERAPIST: this is $200/hr. do you want to talk about anything else? ME: no"

"Growing up, mum was always like a beautiful bird. She would fly away and when she returned many hours later she would puke everywhere."

"A stupid glazier was examining a broken window. He looked at it for a while and then said ""It's worse than I thought. It's broken on both sides."""

"What's the difference between a jeweller and a jailer One sells watches, and the other watches cells."

"*Texts* Can I come over bae? I need you. <3 *Gets reply text* DUDE, STOP CALLING ME THAT. I'M YOUR DEALER NOT YOUR BAE. BRING CA$H!"

"A Frenchman is buying a bread stick and the cashier asks.. ""are you okay carrying this loaf?"" to which he replies ""baguette""."

"How many ears does Mr. Spock have? Three. One left ear, one right ear, and a Final Front-ear."

"Don't buy whitening toothpaste It says guaranteed whiteness in 14 days. 15 days have come and gone... and I am still asian."

"I'm watching so many cute animals videos I think I'm developing aww-tism."

"A comedian walks into a club and says the punchline."