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Joke of the Day

"ME: ppl call dogs ""doggo"" now. i guess its a meme, i dont get it THERAPIST: this is $200/hr. do you want to talk about anything else? ME: no"

"What is Samsung PR team's Christmas jingle you ask? The phone we gave you is frightful, But the fire is so delightful ; And since we have no replace to go, Let it blow! Let it blow! Let it blow!"

"What Do You Call A Sleep Walking Nun? A Roamin' Catholic."

"Oral relief 'Darling, I want some.... Oral relief.' 'You mean you want a blowjob?' 'No, I just want you to shut up.'"

"Nothing is better than working out to 80s music. Except listening to 80s music without working out."

"What did the Pilipino orphan boy say to the linguist who wanted to adopt him? I'll tagalog!"

"I wake up every morning feeling like a Japanese democracy. Huge erection."

"They need to make realistic commercials for beds & mattresses. They always show a couple, never a guy with a dog asleep on his chest."

"What's worse than getting pissed off? Getting pissed on."

"What is the hardest thing about staring at a pile of dead babies? (Possible NSFW) My erection."