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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend is going to leave me... because of my poker addiction... I think she's bluffing."

"There was a masturbating contest ... ... I didn't win though, I came in second place."

"How does a comedian like his eggs? Funny side up"

"So my new girlfriend plays soccer professionally I think she's a keeper"

"A mugged turtle.. A turtle is crossing the road when he's mugged by two snails. When the police show up, they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies, ""I don't know. It all happened so fast."""

"Cop: Whatever you say will be held against you. Me: TEDDYBEARS Cop: Aww."

"What kind of degrees do slaves get in college? Their Master's."

"I hear Christian girls give really good moral."

"For a guy that could change water into wine, I'm surprised Jesus only got hammered once."

"The absolute value of 0 is no laughing matter lol"