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Joke of the Day
"What do you give someone who is about to tear up? Tape"
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"""Knock Knock."", ""Who's there?"" I Eat Map"
"If Joffrey Baratheon was anymore inbred... he'd be a sandwich."
"What do asian cannibals eat? ""rawmen"""
"""Sit down. I've got some bad news."" (Every Milkman's boss 30 years ago)"
"3 1/2 Inches is the avg size a woman needs to be happy. MasterCard, Visa, American Express, ect..."
"How many vampires does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they prefer the dark."
"GUY WITH TONS OF BLACKLIGHTS AROUND HIS APARTMENT: Hey come on in! GUY WHO LIKES TO RUB CAT URINE ALL OVER HIMSELF: Ummm. Nah I'm good."
"What's the most sensitive part of your body after you masturbate? Your sense of guilt"
"9: Dad, did you know that in some cultures the groom doesn't even know the bride until after they're married. Me: That's every culture son."