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Joke of the Day

"I just spilled my last beer while reaching over to hit ""ignore caller"" on my phone. Why do bad things happen to good people?"

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"American Apparel has really cornered the market on the modern, independent date rape victim."
"A man goes to the doctor and says ""Doctor, my farts sound like a motorbike"" Doctor says ""you have an abscess"" Man says ""how do you know?"" Doctor says ""because abscess makes the fart go Honda"""
"Women's logic: I went to buy a suit. But i saw a beautiful pair of shoes. So i bought this handbag."
"SPOILER ALERT: Rice cakes do not contain any actual cake."
"Did anyone see Apple's new device targeted for women consumers? Its called the MaxiPad"
"What kind of ghosts haunt operating theatres? Surgical spirits."
"I asked a Jewish person what they do in their spare time Apparently Hebrews."
"98% of lawyers give the other 2% a bad name"
"Did you hear of the old man that died while masturbating? He had a stroke."
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