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Joke of the Day
"What kind of ghosts haunt operating theatres? Surgical spirits."
Next Joke
"Was just reading a new book with a great female hero And I can say I'm addicted to this heroine."
"The thief who stole my calendar... Got 12 months."
"*goes to the gym* *takes a selfie & posts it on Facebook for the wife to see* *hurries to the bar*"
"GROCER: slide your card ME: it didn't work GROCER: does it have a chip? ME: *puts hand over pringle in my pocket I was saving for later* no"
"Me: Choose a mate who loves & respects their mom, but isn't overly dependent on her. Lady: These are 4th graders- Me: THEY NEED TO KNOW THIS"
"What do you call a race run by baristas? A **decaf**alon"
"OMG, GODZILLA IS COMING TO ATTACK NEW ENGLAND AND WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE-oh, he said huge blizzard, not lizard... Carry on then."
"FREE NUDE SHOW: Walk into a women's tanning salon and yell ""FIRE!"""
"Text your friends but leave voicemails for your enemies."