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Joke of the Day

"My friend crashed his plane recently his life has been heading in a downward spiral."

"I hate it when people come in my house and say hey do you have a bathroom?NO we shit in the sink"

"The struggle Guy: goes to get a drink out of the fridge, can falls and hits him on the head. Friend: Dont worry man, it was a soft drink. :v"

"I pitched my movie idea to a producer . It was about a kid who found out his transgender uncle was a superhero. I called it Auntman, the producer didn't get the idea, because he was black..."

"I loved church when i was little, but what i hated was all the standing up, and sitting down and kneeling I wish the priest would just pick a position and fuck me already."

"My Friends Call Me A Pedophile Because she's 18 and I'm 30, but I'll be damned if I let them ruin our seven year anniversary."

"Why do vampires hate arguments? Because they make themselves cross."

"Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: You love me? Cop: Me: Cop: Me: Is it because I'm driving a lawnmower? Cop: Yes. Me: *floors it*"

"Why won't people let Hitler go to the Bar-BQ? He'll just burn the Frank's!"

"Your Mom's so stupid... That when the teacher asked her to do an essay, she fucked a mexican."