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Joke of the Day

"Are you feeling sluggish and tired? Constantly yawning throughout your day? There's a nap for that!"

"I finally told her those three magical words every woman wish to hear.. I give up!"

"Why should you use a 1 iron during a thunder storm Even god couldn't hit a one iron"

"-Joe's coming over. ""Joe from work or Joe who thinks he's the Norse god, Thor?"" [the distant sound of thunder makes the guacamole quiver]"

"What do you call the field of study for dad jokes? *Sigh*ence"

"I think I'm going to take a hot shower. It's like a normal shower, but with me in it..."

"My wife just told me she read all 1800 of my tweets. I feel like I did when I was 10 and my mom found that magazine under the mattress...."

"I could not stop my baby boy from crying so I poured no tears shampoo in his eyes, it didn't work."

"There are only two things in this world visible from space. One is the Great Wall of China and the other is my pile of laundry."

"Next time, instead of complaining about how bad you have it, think about other people, and how to make things bad for them."