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Joke of the Day

"-Joe's coming over. ""Joe from work or Joe who thinks he's the Norse god, Thor?"" [the distant sound of thunder makes the guacamole quiver]"

"I wish people's voices actually sounded the way they do when their spouse or partner imitates them during an argument."

"The inventor of the Heimlich maneuver has died at the age of 96. Ironically enough, everyone at his funeral was choking back tears."

"What do you call a smelly Hobbit? Frodor."

"Doctor: are you sexually active. Me: I'm not even physically active"

"Smokey The Bear is the narc version of Yogi Bear."

"I hope Jeremy Corben is successful in his new chosen career! I didn't really rate him as a comedian, he was especially bad in The Wrong Man's."

"My co-worker was accused of flipping off the boss. I told HR that it couldn't have been him because he never lifts a finger to do anything."

"Why wasn't Jesus born in the USA? Because God couldn't find three wise men and a virgin."

"f u cn red ths yu meb b dislxic rely"