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Joke of the Day

"Here's a joke I've been working on: Q: What did the husband say when he returned home and found that his wife is missing?"

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"Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton and Jeb Bush jump of a bridge. They do a race who hits the ground first. Who wins? Society"
"The nominees are Leonardo DiCaprio Leonardo DiCaprio Leonardo DiCaprio And the winner is *opens envelope* mad max fury road"
"I got a cat the other day. I had to swerve, but I got it."
"A guy knocked on my door asking for a donation to the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water."
"Water polo was invented After a particularly heated game of ICE Hockey"
"There is nothing worse than running out of toilet paper and having to ask the guy in the next stall to wipe you."
"I walked into the pharmacist's office and asked for condoms for my 12 year old son. The pharmacist asked ""is your son sexually active?"" I replied with ""no he just lays there and cries."""
"What type of rock is this Holmes? It's sedimentary my dear Watson!"
"My IQ? With google or without?"
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