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Joke of the Day

"Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton and Jeb Bush jump of a bridge. They do a race who hits the ground first. Who wins? Society"

"If you ever feel bad about your procrastination, Harry had three month to figure out the egg clue and still did it the night before"

"Pardon the mess, the dog startled me and I threw my shrimp scampi into the ceiling fan"

"How do you get a blonde to break her nose? Place your dick under a glass table"

"2 cats smoke catnip and lay around, discussing Plato's Allegory of the Cave. ""What if the laser pointer is just a projection?"""

"Why are gardeners better problem solvers than politicians Because gardeners really get to the root of the problem."

"My wife hasn't said a word to me in 6 days. What's even better is, she thinks it's punishment."

"Black joke What did god say when he made a balck guy? Oh shit I burnt one"

"Forget waterboarding, just put a cold hand on my belly and I'll tell you anything you want to know."

"Having an intelligent conversation with my 17 year old son. Just kidding. He's making fart noises while I talk about the SATs."