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Joke of the Day

"A guy knocked on my door asking for a donation to the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water."

"What's another term for anal bleaching? Changing your ring tone."

"I hear Bristol Palin is pregnant again... Ever since Trig was born, she's been Down to fuck."

"So my biology teacher asked me what are in cells... I said ""black people"" and somehow that wasn't right"

"The only thing i understood from Interstellar [spoiler] that the fifth dimension is a FUCKING BOOK CASE"

"When dancing and multiple girls yell ""this is my song!"" they should have to fight to the death to see whose it really is."

"[Olive Garden] PATRON: there are so many types of pasta WAITER: [required to say this] yes...*clenches teeth* the pastabilities are endless"

"What do you call a psychic who simply doesn't care? Telapathy"

"If you had to choose between a billion dollars or world peace... how many bedrooms would your mansion have?"

"What do you call a reckless thief who only steals cooking utensils? A whisk taker."