186119

Joke of the Day

"I thought i ran away from the Tomatoes I really didn't think they would ketchup."

"I reported my bike stolen, now the thief can't use it anymore. Since the police is on it."

"What can't you call a black priest Father..."

"It's official. The winner of the biggest upset in US presidential history is T-R-U-M- A-N. 1948. HUGE upset. Edit 3:30AM ET: this was a *lot* funnier when it was true."

"At what point in time were cats being stored in bags so frequently that they had to come up with the phrase: ""the cat's out of the bag""?"

"What did the x-axis say to the y-axis? This is my domain"

"*ex GF pulls up to drive thru where I work* ""Big mac please"" ""Would u like LIES with that?!"" *my boss dragging me away* ""LIES, LUCY.. LIES!"""

"If you make a new sex position, do you get to name it? If so, I'll call it The Laptop. Internet required, partner is not."

"How deep is the ocean? A shark spooked him while he was surfing."

"When a boy turns 12 he is given the choice between a big dick or a good memory... I can't remember what I picked"