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Joke of the Day

"When a boy turns 12 he is given the choice between a big dick or a good memory... I can't remember what I picked"

"Would you guys buy Apple's new product for lumberjacks? iWood."

"The White Stripes Knock, knock! Who's there? Meg White's most complex drumbeat. --- ^(Stolen from 4chan's /mu/ board: http://redd.it/2cl0cw)"

"joe: siri address me as poopyhead siri: okay poopyhead *obama enters* barack: joe have you seen my phone? joe: yep here *runs away giggling*"

"*burst into doctor's office* ME: I'm no longer canstopetid DOCTOR: You mean constipated ME: No I've had a vowel movement DOCTOR: Get out"

"Fantasy football is great, you can just imagine whatever you want. Dracula just tackled Harry Potter."

"I used to talk to my cat, but I stopped, because my dog told me I was crazy."

"Why is Bill Cosby like the The Wizard of Oz? Cosby Cosby Cosby Cosby cos, because of the wonderful things he drugs"

"What I say: I'm on a diet. What my mom hears: please cook delicious food and buy chocolate."

"A man put an ad in the newspaper, saying ""WIFE WANTED"". The next day, he had hundreds of letters, saying ""You can have mine"""