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Joke of the Day
"People tell me sharing is caring. Good thing I don't care."
Next Joke
"A Pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says to the pirate, 'do you know you have a steering wheel in your pants?' The pirate says, 'Arrrrrgh! It's drivin' me nuts!'"
"When going out invite your friends with extra chromosomes. ....theyll always be down"
"How do you tell if your girlfriend's ticklish? You give her a test tickle."
"Someone just told me ignorance and apathy are the world's two biggest problems I didn't know that, but I don't really care."
"Me: Wake up 5-year-old: Me: We're late 5: Me: The house is on fire 5: Me: Your sister touched your stuff 5: *barrel rolls out of bed*"
"What do they call the Hunger Games in Japan? Batteru Royaru with Chizu"
"Some people get athlete's foot. I get Twitter butt."
"My wife said to me that she wished I wouldn't drop the F-bomb in front of the kids. What the fuck is the F-bomb?"
"Movie Law: All computer hackers have to say ""We're in"" when they get into ""the system"""