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Joke of the Day

"I didn't know why the ball was getting bigger and bigger and bigger But then it hit me."

"Give a man a fish, feed him for a day give a man a poisoned fish, feed him for a lifetime"

"pretty jealous of bears. they're like, ""well, just ate my entire weight in salmon, now I'm gonna sleep for 6 months. smell ya later, hater"""

"How do you listen to Taylor Swift and N.W.A one after the other? Make a mixed tape."

"""I can't believe it's not butter!"" could be a disappointed statement as well. I'd like the context before I buy."

"Who created the first diswasher? God, and her name was Eve."

"I went to the zoo and there was one dog in the whole zoo. It was a shih tzu"

"FRIEND: I just found out my kid lost another tooth ME: Really? Which one? FRIEND: Katie ME: Wow, I didn't know your kid named his teeth"

"""Want to get a drink?"" ""Later:"" ""How about now?"" ""Later."" ""Now?"" ""Later."" ""Now?"" --If the Windows Auto Updates pop up was your friend."

"Why do birds live in nests? Because they can't afford houses in this economy."