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Joke of the Day

"My mom accidentally killed my boyfriend this weekend. She didn't recognize him when she was canning pickles."

"Have you tried african food? -No. -They haven't tried it either."

"3 - DAD! HEY DAD! Me: Don't yell from the door son! Walk here and talk to me 3 - *walks over* 3 - I stepped in dog poop, what should I do?"

"My family's going to be here soon. Quick, hide my body."

"Why was Jack scared? Because Jack was bean stalked"

"Sex is like ping pong. I suck at it."

"What do you call a blonde in the freezer? Her parents named her Cindy so we should probably continue to call her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow."

"Who won the 1940 Tour De France? The 7th Panzer division"

"Until public restrooms have automatic doors, the automatic sinks, soap and paper towel dispenser will make no sense to me."

"""Snitches get stitches"" Cute little rhyme.. However I believe, ""Snitches never wake up again"" is more likely to deter snitching..."