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Joke of the Day
"Turns out 6 foot penguins don't exist, in related news, I might have just ran over a nun."
Next Joke
"Your wife is knocking at the back door to come inside and your dog is barking at the front. Which one do you let in the house first? The dog, because when the dog gets in the house it stops bitching."
"My ex and I would role play from time to time. She would dress up as a teacher and call my mother to tell her that I ate the Crayons again."
"Figured this is an appropriate time to tell this. What is an Undertaker's favorite element? Barium."
"Never using online dating again. Last guy said he lived in a gated community. Prison. He meant prison."
"Steps to being cool A) Use the sunglasses face B)"
"Grandpa and Kid Jokes Grandpa: kid....see!! Your Teacher is coming... You're better hide..!! You're absent today Kid: Grandpa!!! not me but you!! I told her that ""You Died"""
"As the saying goes, once you go black... You become a single mother."
"What's the difference between a jew and pork ? Cooking time."
"""Well, I guess I'll stagger around, speak gibberish, & touch all the shit I'm not supposed to while you get irritated."" Drunks & toddlers."