185881

Joke of the Day

"Note to self: Next time your migraine specialist asks ""How's your head?"" Don't reply with ""No man has ever complained."""

"Why did god create man? Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn! :D"

"I have to mispronounce 'Lincoln' and 'cologne' if I want to spell them correctly."

"'Tell me you want me' he ordered. 'I want you' she said. 'Now tell me you need me.' 'I need you' she sighed. She hated calling tech support."

"Last week I went golfing and finally beat my wife... Those are two separate things."

"Did you hear about the swingers.. that got kicked out of the swap meet?"

"Wanna know what 1000 marbles spilling on a tile floor sounds like? Have kids."

"My Jewish family banned beans, Ever since my grandfather died of uncontrollable gas."

"Pantibros before pantihose?"

"The fast and the furious 8 (spoiler alert)"