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Joke of the Day

"Just changed my dating profile headline to: ""Seeking rich old men with bad hearts and no relatives"" ...crossing my fingers"

"At the rate I'm throwing shit out as I pack to move there's a strong possibility not all the kids will make it to the new house"

"What would Joan Rivers be doing if she was alive right now?! Scratching at the inside of her coffin. Courtesy of my dad."

"I know a lot of jokes about unemployed people. But none of them work"

"How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None. It's a hardware problem."

"What is the difference between chicken and blondes ? The chicken knows on whose eggs sitting ."

"What is it called when Batman skips church? Christian Bale."

"Her: I'd take a bullet for you. Me: How soon can you do that?"

"How many pornstars does it take to screw a light bulb? Nobody knows, they keep cutting themselves. PS: original joke"

"I crashed my family's car I've always wanted to see how a Mercedes-Benz."