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Joke of the Day

"Yes, I am aware pigs are more intelligent than dogs. Why would I want to eat an inferior animal and absorb its lesser powers?"

"My downstairs neighbor thinks I'm a little creepy and that I overstep my bounds. At least that's what she wrote in her diary."

"You can't run in a campground You can only ran because it's past tents."

"I saw a lady at the gym on the exercise bike, wearing a helmet. So I put on a life jacket and got on the treadmill next to her."

"What two letters of the alphabet do snowmen prefer ? I.C. !"

"What's easier to pick up the heavier it is? A girl."

"Hipster Jokes How does the hipster have an orgasm? ""I came like so long ago"" Why do hipsters hate rivers? They are too mainstream How much weed does a hipster usually smoke? An Instagram"

"tried to make a stew and accidentally summoned a demon again."

"I think that whenever you become a parent, doctors should just prescribe whatever pills you want."

"I imagine Jesus' first few attempts at walking on water to be little more than a frantic run and belly flop"