195254

Joke of the Day

"Her: What do you like about me? Me: Your crippling self esteem issues have caused you to lower your standards. Her: What? Me: Your eyes"

"Where do bee's go to the bathroom? At the BP station."

"[crime show] DETECTIVE: It looks like the guy that inserts dramatic music into our show has been.. *Flintstones theme song plays* Murdered"

"I got sacked as a tour guide in Vatican City. As I was talking about the pope, we turned a corner and I said, ""Ah, speak of the devil""."

"I tried to find out why my cat kept licking itself... turns out its actually quite tasty."

"You see those cows over there? They are outstanding in their field."

"What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!"

"My dad's addicted to christmas dinner But he's been cold turkey every meal since."

"(NSFW) What did the haddock get covered in at the fish orgy? SALMONal fluid"

"I always scroll to see how long an article is before I don't read it."