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Joke of the Day
"I'd write a rap song... ..but i'm too Lay-Z"
Next Joke
"How did the anus win against the race car driver? He rectum"
"Life is like a cup of coffee... No matter how much sugar you put in it, there's always grounds at the end."
"The lottery gives you a 1 in 200 million chance of not going to work tomorrow. Tequila gives you a 1 in 3 chance."
"What's the quickest way to get to the airport? Terminal Velocity. [:D](http://instantrimshot.com/index.php?sound=rimshot&play=true)"
"Patient: Doctor! You've got to help me! Nobody ever listens to me. No one ever pays any attention to what I have to say. Doctor: Next please!"
"I've just joined a reggae band playing the triangle. I just stand there and ting."
"If you do not eat your candy corn in three separate bites, starting from the big yellow end to the small white end, I hate you."
"Wife: I'm hungry! Me: I'll order pizza Wife: YOU THINK I'M FAT! Me: *whispering* Has it been 28 days already? Wife: WHAT?! Me: what what??"
"Worst thing about this Californian drought... ...the the state has lost its favorite, longest-running Rivers"