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Joke of the Day

"That tweet is awesome. You guys are awesome. Twitter is awesome. I've made awesome friends on Twitter. A thesaurus would be awesome."

"The guy who invented paper died last week That's tearable!"

"Q: What's the definition of perfect pitch? A: When an accordion is thrown down the toilet without it touching the sides."

"How do you help a sick ghost feel better? Give it a BOO-quet of flowers!"

"What did one Melon say to the other after it was asked marry it? We Can't Alope"

"You'd think my hair would be a little more cooperative considering how many times I blow it per week."

"Lost My Bitcoins Last Week been trying to track them down ever since."

"If George Washington Carver became a teacher, what would his nickname be? The Nutty Professor"

"Somewhere out there is a guy named Joe whose greatest achievement is that he was a really sloppy eater."

"Real laziness is being excited when plans get canceled."