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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a redneck, and a SJW? A redneck's trigger actually does something"

"A Brazilian got the first gold medal The police are already after him."

"I dated an Optometrist, but just had to break up with her She was a great girl, but really annoying in bed. She kept on saying, ""So, do you like it better like this? Or like this?"""

"This is terrible, and I'd like to apologize in advance, but could anyone tell me why hipsters prefer corpses over zombies? Corpses are still underground."

"What happens when you mock the host of Diners, Drive-In's, and Dives? The guy gets fierious."

"Why would it suck to be an egg? Because you only get laid once, only get smashed once, and the only chick that sits on your face is your mother"

"People r afraid of boogers. I bet u could rob a bank with a booger! Folks in the bank would back up! Police would be puzzled tho: A Bogger?!"

"I run an amateur dramatic society. Someone approached me recently wanting to do an all dwarf version of the pantomime ""Aladdin"". The concept is a little wishy-washy."

"What's the difference between a leper and a tree? A tree has limbs."

"The key ingredients for a successful diet : Duct tape Rope Rat poison Shovel Bag of lime Alibi What?...wait. Wrong list."