185203
Joke of the Day
"How does an Australian shave? Rise up lights"
Next Joke
"I saw an ironing board with wrinkles in it I thought that was pretty ironic."
"I hope the guy who named the ""walkie talkie"" called his home phone ""standie talkie"" and his toilet ""sittie shitty""."
"I'll call it a ""smart phone"" the day I yell, ""Where's my freaking phone?!"" and it answers, ""I'm here! Under the pile of clothes!"
"I saw a man 3 foot 3 outside my house looking for my utilities readings Turns out he was the metre man"
"Why do Gastroenterologists have such a passion for their job? Because they find the components of one's stomach very intestine."
"DATING TIP: Pick up the check. Pick up the table. Pick up the chairs and the waitress and the bartender. Everyone loves upper body strength."
"What was Confucius' favorite comfort food? Macaroni and Qi."
"Placing my signature wherever i go. Because, signature move!"
"[Girlfriend looks at me in disgust] ""Did u just propose using emojis?"" ... ""Technically its called a propoji, but yes"" [She's already gone]"