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Joke of the Day

"I hope the guy who named the ""walkie talkie"" called his home phone ""standie talkie"" and his toilet ""sittie shitty""."

"For my next magic trick i'll need a condom and a volunteer."

"What is the worst city to be a cop in? Baltimore, I hear it's backbreaking work."

"Why don't Polish girls use vibrators? They're afraid of chipping their teeth."

"Do you know where my mexican hat is? - It's somewhere bro.. Fine...a sombrero, but what I'm asking is have you seen it?"

"""Be right there! I just need to rip my lovely real eyebrows out & draw shitty fake ones in their place."" -Thousands of women"

"What is the difference between a fridge and a pussy? The fridge doesn't fart when you pull the meat out."

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Mortal Kombat Barbie ...includes more blood than you can even imagine"

"When I refer to old relatives passing away I never say ""RIP"" because I don't wants them to rest. I want them to Zumba."

"Plan B and pregnancy tests should be sold at the Liquor Store as a 'one stop shop' kinda thing. Save all that judgment for one cashier."