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Joke of the Day

"I hope the guy who named the ""walkie talkie"" called his home phone ""standie talkie"" and his toilet ""sittie shitty""."

"Why not call baby pigs ""hamlets"" ?"

"It's actually pretty convenient the Alan Rickman died so soon after David Bowie. You can just move your lightning bolt up a few inches for the funeral and fit right in."

"Wanna hear a joke? Politics."

"What does your wife have in common with a Porn actress? They both moan SO much."

"My wife said she wanted to see 50 Shades of Grey. So I took a photo of her hair!"

"What did the little black boy get for Christmas? My bike"

"Japanese gardener gets tired of being bossed around by homeowner You think he say ""Leaf me alone"", but he say ""Fuck you, homeowner, fuck you..."""

"I got food poisoning... Not sure when I'm a gonna use it."

"You know what grinds my gears? Improper gear ratios and speed differences."