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Joke of the Day

"Life is scary At least the salary is funny"

"Why are most rappers afraid of vending machines? Because eminem's in there (Sorry, it works better when it's spoken)"

"Drugs are really bad for your mind. All these years I thought I worked in an office, but it turns out I'm actually a centaur."

"Rest in peace, boiling water. You shall be mist."

"Tasteless Stephen King Joke When Rachel Creed came back from the dead, Louis killed her with a 12 Gage."

"C:\Documents\Work\Projects\Important\Confidential\Drawings Of Me Saving Steve Irwin From That Stingray\Clothed\ThankfulSteve74.jpg"

"What do you call spaghetti that carries a fake ID? an impasta!"

"Did you hear about the erectile dysfunction support group meeting? It was a total flop, nobody came."

"[pulls into taco bell drive thru] Hi, I'd like enough tacos to forget 2016"

"Green day is playing on the only two alternative rock stations in my neighborhood... There is no alternative."